Yesterday, I was pissing in a port-a-potty when I looked up and saw some graffiti that stated “White Women Are God”. I thought about this statement whilst releasing my urine in an even stream into the reservoir below my feet, and it led to questions.
Who just decides white women are god? How can white women be god? Does god ONLY work through WHITE women?
One of my rules here, is to not discuss religion. However, this story is not to talk about the existence of god, the idea of god’s origin, etc., but to discuss how women could be god. This is based on what many believe a god to be, whether you believe in god or not is irrelevant here.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, women are defined as “an adult female person.” Also, according to Webster’s Dictionary, god is defined as “a person or thing of supreme value.” What this means is that, if you consider all life precious, we are by definition persons of supreme value, also known as god. This includes men because men are persons too. IF, however, you consider only specific white women precious, like Kesha, you only consider specific persons to be god. Also you’re probably giving them money, because you believe they need more and like to continue perpetuating music such as Praying.
Next, let’s think about where people come from. Well, we come from women. That’s a fact. Because women can give birth to humans, does this make them god? Some may say yes because men cannot give birth to life and make more of us, men just plant the seed.
With that said, however, does this mean that men too are gods? People wouldn’t exist without men either, as women cannot impregnate themselves! So are we both god?
Furthermore, this just leads to another question. Why should ONLY white women be considered god? All women can reproduce, no matter which race. What makes white women the gods and all other races of women not gods?
To answer that last question, I took the most obvious route and googled “Who is the world’s wealthiest woman.” We all know that whoever dies with the most money is a god, right? Surely the wealthiest women in the world must be white, thus proving the statement “all white women are god.” Most of the populous tends to give the most attention to and worship those that are wealthy. Who does not think Kesha needs more money? With 19 million + hits on Youtube, there is no way Kesha is not a wealthy, white, female god… impossible!
After all, if you have no money, you have got to be weak in this society, right? No one listens to a broke person. If people listened to a broke person, they just might become broke themselves! What a terrible thing to imagine, having no money. Having no money would be “tremendously troubling” as our most beloved, very wealthy and completely infallible President Trump would put it.
Tremendous.
Anyway, Forbes has a shitty slideshow of the world’s wealthiest women. “Pansy Ho” is a Japanese billionaire worth $6.4 billion in 2014. She is definitely not a white women, and out of all of the female billionaires in this slideshow, she is the only one I would even think about getting a boner over. Oprah also still exists. No boner for her though.
So there is strike one against only white women being gods. What about in the past, though? There aren’t really any new gods these days, other than the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who is basically what it sounds like.
The most obvious first choice would be Cleopatra. Cleopatra was not Egyptian but Greek. Greeks are not really caucasian, but more grouped with caucasians than any other race. SO technically back in the old days, greek women were gods, even in Egypt. At least Cleopatra was considered one anyway. Cleopatra was also inbred.
It saddens me how much value we place on a race of women that seem to age faster than other races. I do love white women, but I tend to love all women equally. I have no idea other than the reasons above, why we place so much value on one race of women.
I’m still trying to talk to Pansy Ho, though. Call me, Pansy. Die Happy, Di11ingham