People not replying to texts, including private messages, emails and voicemail is becoming more and more common in our society today. It’s so common that in fact, sending more than two texts or more than two emails, etc., with no response to the first message, is simply a waste of time. Furthermore, because millennials are extremely busy snapchatting, instagramming, tweeting and trying out the latest trending restaurant, they simply don’t have the time to type out any characters to a real human being or have a real discussion, especially one that they can’t benefit from. Nevermind taking ten seconds out of their day to listen to a voicemail. Also, don’t ever try to make a telephone call to a millennial, because it’s an act of intrusion to them.
Pussies.
The problem for me, is that I am what I like to call a borderline millennial. If you were born from around 1977 to around 1995 you’re a millennial. I was born on the early end of that timeline. I grew up in a world where leaving voicemails for friends was fun because, in the ’80s, people would take time to communicate a message with inflection and would use creativity with the tone of their voice and the overall feeling it projects. It wasn’t uncommon to hear a “doctor” giving me AIDS test results on our home answering machine for the whole family to hear. Prank calls were constantly happening and goddamn, how I miss them.
By the way, thanks for my results, Dr. Brandon, all the way back in 1987. I hope your yard mowing business panned out for you, assclown.
All of this fun has gone away and been replaced with emojis, 10 second video clips of selfies with animal expressions overlayed on them and food porn. I have been searching for people that have personality for years. Unfortunately the few people that are actually interesting and fun to be around tend to not use the aforementioned dehumanizing, animalistic causing ways of communication, and would much rather prefer to mostly live offline.
That’s another big thing about many millennials, they hate being monitored and tracked by the NSA or big brother. Information that most people tend to want to hide is usually very revealing about who the person is, or was.
Until a mediocre-sized wang and MILF porn become illegal I know I am 100% safe. #NoFear
Before I get too far off of the main subject though, let’s answer the most important question: does not replying to texts mean you’re cunty?
In order to answer this question, we’ve got to take a look at the definition of cunt, so as not to assume anything and pass judgement based off of what we think cunt means. That’s another dumb thing some millennials do, they assume they know everything and bitch and take offense when they are wrong because they are entitled to the world and everyone owes them something for nothing.
According to Merriam Webster “cunt” is defined as both women’s sexual organs and an offensive way to refer to a woman or if you’re British, another word for pussy. Only American women take offense to the word.
Nearly all females assume you are trying to fuck if you text them at 4 AM. What if I’m just lonely ladies? Gay men understand my softer, more sensitive side while females tend to be vaginas about the whole thing. I asked a lady once why they were so upset when I referred to them as being cunty, and they just got upset over the word cunt and refused to talk to me further.
Cold and distant is the best way to describe the majority of these traps. My personal stance is, if you can’t handle a word, I have no interest talking to you. Even my grandma, rest her beautiful soul, had no trouble with the word cunt, never called her one though. I did date a chick that actually liked using the word cunt to describe her vag, which has been the only exception to the rule of American women not liking the word.
If I text one of my gay friends right now I’d get a response back within about 5 minutes, and it’s 4 in the morning. They would probably think I was trying to hook up, but they’d still answer.
For the record, I’m only 7% gay. I’ve blown 5 kisses to dudes in my lifetime. Every single one of them was caught too. You can hate me now.
Most females (feminists love that word by the way) just want to abuse me when I show them I’m vulnerable, because I am cursed with my middle-of-the-road sized phallus that is attached to my caucasian Florida man white male privileged body . This is a fact. If you don’t believe me, ask any of my previous love interests. They all want to see me suffer and die.
After all of this personal introspection I’ve come to decide that not texting back definitely does make you a cunt. It’s as if the text gets lost in a huge volcanoey vagina never to be seen again.
Anyway, I’m glad I’ve finally solved the puzzle. I must admit, looking up two words in the dictionary and throwing the majority of millennials under the bus was quite a task, but I was up to it and have had tremendous success in this story doing it.
So, next time you see somebody ignoring texts, politely remind them they are being a huge, dirty, vagina. If they are your “friend”, chances are in the future they too will ignore your text when you may really need their help and later on lie about it saying “I just got your text” a day too late. It’s ok to go along with the lie, and it may very well be true as we’ve all got busy lives, however, beware of people that give this response because they could really be a psycho killer busy murdering people instead of replying to your texts.
Another option would be to ignore their texts indefinitely. Some might say following this path of divine non-texting back intervention will just end up making you a big blubbering vagina but there are some exceptions to this rule of cuntyness. For example, if a stalker is harassing you and you’re uncomfortable, that’s a good reason to ignore someone permanently. Just make sure you’ve made your intentions clear to them, because unless something is mentally wrong with them, they will eventually get the picture.
Any other scenario without simply stating “not interested” BEFORE ignoring the text will mean you are by definition a cunt.
Remember fellow humans, REAL friends text back. The majority of the rest are just sissies.
Someone please call me and VM me some fucking STD test results already.
I am completely serious. Do I have chlamydia or what?
I’m a big cunt.
Die Happy,
Di11ingham